July 24 – Boulder, Kkkolorado
All Little Eichmerikkka partied till the wee hours in a celebration marked by more collective sighs of cracker relief than you could shake a stick at. Party central was the University of Kkkolorado, where a jubilant KU president Hank Brown had earlier in the day announced the firing of Ward Churchill.
The KU Board of Regents voted 11-1 to fire Churchill, who had had the temerity to correctly label amerikan Little Eichmanns with actual taxonomic precision. Explaining their votes, eleven of the Regents harmonized a rousing chorus of “We Were Just Following Orders!” “Me too! Me too!” chimed in the lone “dissenter” whose orders had been “to make it look this was not a done deal.”
The KU president suffered one brief moment of embarassment during the hatchet job announcement. In his exuberance the prez began bellowing, “I proclaim that henceforward July 24 shall be commemorated as Little Eichmann Day throughout all of amerikkka!” When a confederate reminded him in a whisper that since Jamestown every day has been Little Eichmann day in amerikkka, a somewhat abashed Brown mumbled, “I was just following orders.” A rush of Little Eichmerikkkans then surged forward, embraced Brown to their bubba bosoms, and the partying kommenced.
Later in the evening a more composed Brown was able to announce with proper solemnity that effective immediately all U$ postal employees, UP$ and FedEx delivery personnel, and all other messengers of any type whatsoever would be summarily executed on entrance to the KU kampus. “Who knows,” shrugged Brown in explanation, “they might be delivering the truth. And we just can’t take any, you know, chances.”
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That’s exactly where the united $tates of Eichmerikkka is going. Expect a pall of fascist repression to chill the intellectual atmosphere–such as it is–at U$ universities. The message is clear: if you lay Amerikkka bare, your ass will get vamped on.